Mars Life


Oh yeah, she's the one all right.

So I thought I'd take a moment to talk to you about the girl I'm going to be with for the rest of my life (whoever you are... I'm still not convinced you're reading).

When I moved here to Chicago it was for a change of scenery. I chose this particular locale because I had met a small group of theater involved people through a friend, Dan DeVito (no, not from Taxi, he's a friend originally from Connecticut). So when I got here, I immediately seeked out this small group of friends who liked to party and be creative and needed attention as much as I did. It's a little thing I do. Enter one friend of particular interest at this time, Kerri Van Auken (here's a picture of her from the site sorry no Bio yet (ugh... see last entry)).

So it only took a month until we realized that we were really attracted to each other, had similar interests such as TV, hippy music, independence, that little song from the old saturday morning cartoons about drowning your food, you name it, we really are pretty damn similar. So we also figured out that we were both single, and that we owed it to ourselves to investigate this thing between us. We did. It was just about two years ago now, too.

We fell for each other hard. We're both pretty emotional people, which made it that much easier to fall so fast. It also makes the lows a little lower, and the anger a little more intense (ahem... foreshadowing... ahem), but the highs are dizzyingly worth it. Let me tell you, never have I ever been more sure of anything, I will be with this woman forever.

Now let me give you a small example of how great she is, which may not seem like it at first. This morning was awful, for several reasons. First off it's a monday in the SanfAuken (Sanford/Van Auken) household, so neither of us are really happy about having to wake up and haul our asses off to the day jobs that we aren't that fond of in the first place. Secondly, it was a busy weekend that only promises to lead into a busy day/week and we are feeling a little ragged. Third, one of the reasons it's been so busy is because of a shoot RoxBox is helping out with, however communication and organization hasn't been the best, so Kerri was left completely off some important scheduling emails, and it's made her feel justifiably insignificant as of late (film-wise). Lastly, I wanted some affection from my girl (as I wasn't aware she had given me said affection the night before whilst I was sleeping (calm down pervs, I'm not talking sex here... that's strictly off-line conversation)) to cap off the weekend. So, I tried to get her to give me a kiss while I was laying with her in bed. OK, got all that?

Well, here's a little Van Auken history that's pretty much common knowledge to all those in her close circle of family and friends. Kerri likes her sleep. If you wake her up on a good day, she'll growl at you and spit venom in your face. This is somewhere the boyfriend of KVA should know to tread lightly. However, I felt a little entitled, so I flat out requested she roll over and give me a kiss.

OK, now I may have exaggerated a bit in my earlier description, but given the circumstances, she definitely showed her frustration. Still feeling entitled, I wasn't having any bit of that. It escalated quickly and eventually words were being thrown around about insignificance, reactions were getting extremely heated, we started arguing about arguing, not just plain stopping, you know, all the textbook ways not to end an argument.

Eventually, we managed to settle down and reach a good stopping point so that we could walk away not mad at the other. This is key, and we have gotten a pretty good hold on it.

OK, so, yeah, about making my girlfriend look good. Here’s what makes me so sure she’s mine for good, if I have anything to say about it. As I mentioned, the lack of communication in this recent short film has made her feel a bit insignificant. Now, being her partner, there are no holds barred in what she tells me about how she feels. So I’ve been listening to these complaints like a good boyfriend does, but have been feeling helpless, as a normal boyfriend doesn’t like. Now what does a boyfriend do when he can’t help? Tries to lead the girlfriend to the place that could help her. So, one of my mantras throughout these complaints has been, “I wish I wasn’t the only one who would hear this,” implying that if she was as candid about these feelings of insignificance with the rest of the people involved, it may actually lead to a better process in the future. I say it repeatedly, but knowing how nice she is (not saying I’m not guilty of over-accommodating. We are after all, very similar), I never actually expected her to tell anyone, and would have harbored no resentment if she never said a word. I did make the same remark again, though at the end of the nice period we had at the end of our argument.

This is Kerri’s time to shine. I get to work, and what is in my email? An email to the film company explaining exactly what she’s had a problem with lately, including this tear-invoking quote:

I know none of you is responsible for this, I just really need to share with all of you what I'm feeling. (I know I sound a little gay.) Plus, it's not fair for one man to take the brunt of my Irish lassie temper.

See? She listens. She tries to change. I listen. I try to change. We have what it takes, and there’s no doubt that we’ll be together forever. I’ve finally found her.

Love you baby! Now comment!

More to come!


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