Mars Life


I am an anarchist (Joiner tales part 1)

A lot of times in my life, I've gone along with the group contrary to my own desires to not make waves. It's funny that I now find myself performing in improvisational comedy, where this is one of the golden rules. Digressions aside, these experiences sometimes end up being exciting, like this first installment of...

Adventures in being a joiner, part 1
In January, I learned from a close friend that the man Kerri and I had chosen to marry us was lucky enough to have been born on the day that Motley Crue had decided to bring their 2005 reunion tour through the wonderful Allstate Arena/Rosemont Horizon/Clear Channel venue that lies on the outskirts of our fair hell-raising city of Chicago. It wasn't long before I had agreed to go to my first ever Motley Crue, nay, first ever Metal/Glam/Hair rock concert. I'm sure you can already tell I was going along for the ride, as I can't even tell the proper way to classify Motley Crue. I'm sure purists will be happy, as Motley Crue stands in a class all of their own.

50 dollars. Yup, I was pretty damn sure prior to Thursday, March 10th that I had spent the 50 worst dollars of my life. Friends assured me I'd know every song on the list and it would be a good time nonetheless. I wasn't all that worried about having a good time, I'm the type that doesn't really second guess to much once I commit myself, and 50 dollars was enough of a commitment for me to be optimistic of the fun. As much as I liked to bitch about the cost, as I'm apt to do, I began to have a positive outlook.

With a few days to go until the fateful birthday, I ended up singing the chorus to "Unskinny Bop" repeatedly throughout the day, as it was my only means of anticipation. I knew it was most likely not a Motley Crue song, but I didn't have their arsenal ready enough in my head to pull inspiration for excitement from. That evening I was determined to learn enough to get it right, and lessen any disappointment I would face from inevitably not hearing "Unskinny Bop". Thanks to my lovely former butt-rocking fiancee, the next day consisted of quite a bit of "Home Sweet Home" humming.

When we finally made our way to the show, it was quite a great time indeed. The show was introduced by a little person in some sort of costume who served as MC for the event. The set was great, a big red and white striped tent, with a "Motley Crue" backdrop and a bunch of pyrotechnics just like mom used to make. Girls hung from the ceiling defying gravity, and grinded on the stage from time to time. Quite some sights to see.

All of the old classics were played (save for "Smokin in the Boys Room"), and the antics were top notch and gave me a great appreciation for this age-old, classy sub-genre of music. There was a fun little claymation piece to kick off the whole show, whose premise seemed a bit last minute, but it was fun nonetheless. The opener was "Shout at the Devil," and I still don't think I've seen a more grandiose mass-use of the index and pinky fingers. The second set began with "Girls Girls Girls", and eventually, Tommy Lee both flew around above the stage, and demanded girls' tops be raised for the Titty-
Cam. My fiancee came away (safely) learning that if Tommy Lee asks you to show your tits, you do, as every girl in the camera's lens learned via experience. The encore was a fun pair of covers, Helter Skelter, and Anarchy in the UK. Good times, man, good times.

So, being a joiner isn't all that bad. I don't know if I would have ever seen such a show in my life if I wasn't such an easily-influenced person. Viva la group mentality.


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